Would I still be an atheist if I worshiped you, or would it make you the very God I don’t believe in?



“Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there
be one, he must approve of the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded fear.” – Thomas Jefferson
Throughout the history of the world, there have been great people, who
understand the one we call God. They have tried their best to explain,
to help us understand, but explanation itself, is a diminishing of
knowledge, for knowledge can be acquired only when attained in
isolation; especially when it comes to something so intriguing, so
mysterious. I believe, that to understand something so complicated,
you have to reach to the level of enlightenment, of clarity, that
those great people have had.
Which is why I know that even though I might not be in a position to
answer this, I shall always think about it, because I know myself, and
then there is only this ‘force’, left to know, to understand. Yes, I
believe that within everybody is a soul, and each with its own level
of positive energy. What compliments the positive, according to me, is
not some negative energy, but the lack of positives, a void. What I
see as the ‘force’, is the sum of all this positive energy, that some
of us call, God.
Each soul is interconnected, each dependent on the other, one’s
actions determining the other’s possible futures. There must be, I
believe, a set of rules that nature follows, that bind each one, that
determine the outcome of our actions, thus making the concept of
karma, fate, destiny, believable to me.
There are those who believe that all are one, and that each person is
just one being, from different times. As interesting as this may be,
I’d say it couldn’t be, because if all the souls are one then, all the
‘force’ is, is the division of positives among the same life form,
which would at some point come to mean that there is no change, that
everything is static; all change, just a perception.
Some do believe that God is one supreme power, one being above the
rest, the creator, the origin of life. However I choose to disagree,
because I believe, that there cannot be a complete unison of this
‘force’, for the amount of positive energy accumulated would be too
much.  If there ever were to be, a single force, the void would be
lost; all that would remain would be the positive, which would then
cease to exist, for a lack of complementary substance, the lack of a
need to be.
Thus this force, the interdependence, the unison and the connection
are enough to partially satisfy my thirst for this knowledge, my need
to understand the eternal ‘force’, the rules that govern nature. But
yet I say that I have not seen an iota of the truth, because I know
myself, and I know that I see all there is, but the question that
remains unanswered is why?  We drive our world on emotions like love
and hate, but where do emotions emanate from? Why is it that we dream?
For dreams take us to places we could never have seen, but sometimes,
places that exist. We consider ourselves to be such a complex being,
but think of the complexity of this interconnection, of this ‘force’,
we are nothing compared to it. Sometimes we believe that we understand
because we think that we know about something, because we were told,
because we saw. However, we fail to realize that there is an
inconspicuous yet huge difference between knowing and understanding.
We have more void than substance, thus believing that we understand is
mostly an assumption.
Now, there are those whom we call atheists; the ones, who don’t
believe in god, who do not think there is an external force, or a
‘force’ otherwise, that affects the world; that there are no rules to
govern nature. It would all be correct, and all be true for me, unless
I were to say that nature was the rules, that everything  around us,
is not something we have made, or something given exclusively to us,
but rather, something  formed through the culmination of the ‘force’.
I’d never say that God exists, that there is a higher power, but I
shall always stand by the interconnection of souls, the spirit of
reality, the force of positivity, the belief that each heart, each
mind, is in love with the other, needs the other, and depends on it
because I know, that I do not understand. That I am significantly
distant from the truth, that my questions, my dreams, even though not
my whole reality, are a part of the undeniable and vaguely visible
truth, the truth of love, the truth of the ‘force’.